Wilds of Northreach

Polar Opposites
Two Journeys Begin

After planning with the few Wardens and other residents in the mine, Balinor, Mason, Taika, Corra, Kwasi, and Beni decided to make the long and arduous journey south to the terrifying Beastlands. Somewhere deep in that hopeless desert was one of the two artifacts they needed to subdue Tiamat and her demonic forces.

The other artifact lay far to the North, and those who remained in the Wilds vowed to obtain it.

Will they be able to retrieve the artifacts before Tiamat becomes unstoppable?

David and Goliath, the retelling
The most effective way to kill an over-eager monk.

“A warning to those of a short disposition, when traveling in a group, and you have the opportunity to sneak up on a giant, don’t bother…or at least don’t run ahead of the group to play the part of a ‘distraction’ when you don’t need to. Giants can and will throw rocks at you, big ones…ones bigger than you are. And no, you can’t throw them back at the giant. If the opportunity is there, let an archer shoot at the giant from as far away as possible, and let it approach you. If you run ahead of the group, you will get squashed.”

The Slaying of Pöpple-Mann
As told by Nicodemus

Nicodemus Amblecrown and Hoxton Merryweather enter the rusted cup looking as if they had just returned from the wilds

Nicodemus walks to a table in the middle of the cup and stands atop it, moving the mugs of the people seated at the table out of his way. Hoxton having followed Nicodemus to the table stands looking up at Nicodemus confused.


Hoxton realizing what was going on jumps on the table with Nicodemus

H: Yes yes and, he was lucky to have me there to help him. He would have bitten the big one without my assistance.

Nicodemus looks to Hoxton and opens his mouth to say something before he is interrupted by someone in the bar.

NPC: You two are full of shit. You probably just found that on the ground somewhere or bought it from the oddities shop.

NPC: Damn right.
H (cutting of N): we
H (cutting of N): we
H (cutting of N): we
H (looking visibly more annoyed now): Hey don’t take all the credit, I was there too.

Enter Henry Fisher

Henry: Oh ye be tellin’ the story already? pulls out the giants tooth Did’ja tell ’em bout how
the nasty bugger turned ye into a statue when he touched ye his staff?
Henry: Or about how our brave friend Hoxton over lost ’is grip on his blade, and took a chunk outa yer hair while ye were a statue?

Nicodemus feels the side of his head where a chunk of his long blond hair is missing, and shock spreads over his face like he hadn’t yet noticed

H (defensively): Hey it wasn’t like that ….
Henry (Sarcastically): Aye I helped ye kill the big nasty Henry sits down at his usual table and waves to Sunray (Ray) for an ale

After a few beats pass both Nicodemus and Hoxton join henry at the table

End Scene

Most Glorious Desecration of Tomb of Evil Capitalist Dwarf Oakenshield and his Criminal Friends

Boris now tell story;

Me and most patriotic comrades-in-arms go north to find tomb with magic sword. I strapped my donkey up to cart and north we go. Encounter nothing. Eventually arrive at UNMARKED UNKNOWN TOMB and in we go. Within its depths Boris encounter thieves with shooty things. I get angry and throw my spear, nearly executing one.

After some attempts to persuade thieves to stop being angry at us for entering their UNMARKED HOUSE APPARENTLY, most glorious and patriotic comrade Balinor and I just kill the rest of them. They tried to be stealthy like great Siberian Tiger but they fail and throw dagger at Balinor. I got angry and need weapon so I rip out dagger from Balinorand slash one who run by.

Balinor and pyroman goes to hunt down. I go to smash open other door. Little monk man assists me, after scolding us or killing thieves (HOW CAN YOU SCOLD US FOR KILLING EVIL CAPITALIST THIEVES WHEN YOU DO EVIL CAPITALIST SIREN SARCOPHAGUS TORTURE?!?!?!?). But anyway.

I BORIS SMASH DOOR, and within lies more shooty crossbow rogue, which we dispatch in service of the great Mother Ursa. When Balinor and fire thrower man come back, we open door that we are obviously not supposed to open. NOTHING KEEPS OUT THE GREAT PATRIOT THAT IS BORIS AND THE MINER’S UNION! so we go in.

Inside, is dwarf in gold armor lying on floor, (made from the profit he steals from the poor working class dwarves of his kingdom, he deserves to be dead). Tiny monk man goes up and touch dead evil capitalist dwarf. Bad idea. He wake up.

Capitalist is now strong like zombie bear, and standing up. The door slammed shut behind us! We all begin to hit him, because the bourgeoisie must be toppled. Speaking of toppling, we topple big statue onto him so that capitalist can be put in his place. However, he still moving!

BUT THEN BORIS HAS GREAT IDEA. WHAT IF WE MAKE MOST GLORIOUS PATRIOTIC INVENTION? I ask Balinor for his bottle of brew, and after stuffing rag from coffin into, I light and make MOLOTOV COCKTAIL, WHICH BURNS ENEMIES OF THE UNION. I throw, after saying in Dwarfish- “Dosvadanya, Comrade!” Durin Oakenshield burned.

There was no magic sword, but there was… A MAGIC AXE (no holdy thing, but it was the blade at least). Balinor, the most patriotic of my comrades, gave me axe, and I so very happy. Rest of tomb was dwarf daughter and escaped head thief. Whatever.

Then I went north. Here we are at my inn.

And now story finished. Leave me alone. Then get me drink. And pet my bear.

After The Slave Pits
C. Taika

The last person I remember seeing there was Enginn, his normally grim and brutish face slack, submissive. I wanted nothing more than to shout to him, see again the wild glint in his eyes as he rose up to find dying Mazgo and run to safety with me. It pained me to think that even if all this were possible, our friends may not have even had the strength to make it out of the caves. Mazgo had treated me well enough, and Enginn didn’t know any better—They did not deserve this fate.

I do not think Kwasi could see the tears in my eyes as we walked back to Northreach-or perhaps he did, and let me feel strong and stoic. We headed to the noble district to return the skulls of the children we had meant to rescue. Their parents wept, whether in fear or sadness I will never know. Still, it is no matter—I now know what it means to ache for the dead.



For the last few days Sunray, the owner of the Rusted Cup, has been allowing me to stay here without charge. I offer him compensation, but he allows me to say for free since I do not require food, drink or a room since I do not require sleep, and because I draw in a crowd. I find this arrangement mutually beneficial, especially since I enjoy speaking with the people in the establishment. Many individuals ask me about my origins and how I operate. I give them as best of an answer as I can give them. I also form a companionship with one of the other regulars at the tavern- a grizzled sailor named Henry. While most people seem to understand that I am an artificial construct, I do not think Henry understands. He often asks me to ‘take of ye armor’, thinking I am in some sort of fancy armor. I do not mind, though. Despite Henry’s misconceptions of my being, I appreciate that he treats me just like he does everyone else. It makes me feel a little less different and objectified.
Today in particular, Henry is trying to convince me to let him give him a tattoo. As stated, I do not think he understands that I do not have skin, but I allow him to carve a sailor’s star into the wood on my inner forearm in exchange for an electrum. As a tired Ray steps down from the stairs, he informs us of a mineshaft nearby that needs to be cleared out. We are warned, however, that there has been sightings of a Wyvern in the area. Henry decides to go. I also decide to accompany him. If the mines are filled with creatures, it may prove to be a potential threat to the city. Before we leave, we recruit the help of a burly fellow in a bear pelt named Boris and a rather morose new individual who had just made her way into town named Celeste. Ray gives us directions to the mines. My compatriots fill up on supplies. Henry in particular purchases a large container of ale, which I am chosen to carry.
On our way out, we notice a funeral precession and burial. Several officials including Titus Verlemon and Varus Marteane are present. Our group stops to listen to the speeches given by Titus and Varus. I look in the crowd and find Sylviya Cerwyn, the half elf woman I met a few days ago at the forum. I ask her what happened. The funeral is for a soldier who died when giving chase to a thief. Boris and I walk up and give my condolences to the family. Henry stays off to the side, impatiently wanting to move on.
We make it out of the city and begin to move forward towards the mines. We make it to one of the land marks, a farm and farmhouse. However upon further investigation of the house, the room had caved in and the family had been killed. From what I could gather, this was the work of the Wyvern that had been sighted in the area. After some debating and noticing that the sun was setting, we decided that I was best to move on and make camp elsewhere instead of staying at the ruins of the house. I make a mental note of this to bring up later to Titus upon our return. No one deserves to be forgotten like that.
We move on near a river and set up camp. Everyone takes a rest while I keep watch in my sentry state. Half way through our rest, though we are attacked by gnolls. We all dispatch them, Henry diving across the river and making quick work of one of the gnolls. The other two are in the water. I use my crowd stun and suppression system and take them out. After the fight, jovial half elf named Cicero who overheard us talking in The Rusted Cup and caught up with us. The rest of the night is uneventful.
The next morning, we make our way across the river. Since the river is deep, I carry everyone across one by one. We cross the swamp and make our way to the base of the mine. Henry tell me to leave his ale at the bottom of the mountain, lest it be damaged in any combat. We make our way up to the mine. We are then ambushed to by bandits. It appears that bandits are the ones occupying this cave. We quickly make work of them and then make our way into the mine.
As we enter, we being fighting with a small group who make their way across a large crevasse by swinging across a rope tied to a stalactite. Boris, Celeste and Cicero make it across. Henry attempts and misses the rope. He falls and would have been impaled by the stalagmites at the bottom of the chasm if not for his quick reflexes and thinking with his roped harpoon. I too attempt to cross, but my weight is not supported by the wooden platform that extends out from the cliff side of the abyss. Our compatriots take care of the far side of the mine, while Henry and I take care of the other. We climb down and dispatch three bandits. One tells me that there are goblins that are occupying these mines and calls for a cease fire. In exchange for the information I attempt to allow one to leave with his life on the condition that he gives up his thieving ways, but Henry dispatches him. He tells me to stop being so naïve, and that he would have probably would have wound up hurting someone. He said that we had a job to clear the mines, which includes the bandits. He also told me to get a cloak. I’m big, scary, and tend to stick out. This hurts. I do not mean to be scary. However, I make a mental note to get one.
We parlay with our party and confront the goblins and their king. At first there is an odd sense of appreciation from the goblin king. According to them, the bandits had taken over the mine that had rightfully belonged to them and rewards us with a few gold coins. Henry and the goblin king take a moment to look each other over, calling each other ‘big nasty’ and ‘little nasty’ respectively. However, when we begin to take our leave, we turn on the goblins. Henry and Celeste go fight the goblins in the main cavern and kitchen area while Boris and I fight the goblin king. It appears that Cicero had left. The goblin king uses his staff to shoot lighting at Boris and I. I hear off in the distance the sizzling of flesh, a goblin screaming, and a hearty mariner shanty coming from Henry. Boris winds up landing the killing blow. I pick up and take the thunder and lightning staff. As we leave, Boris and Celeste tell me a tale of one the mine shafts containing gems and a gas that caused them to eat the crystals. However, since I do not breath, I could venture in unharmed. I walk down the shaft and find the walls covered in amethysts and at the end the silhouette of a humanoid. I recognize this as a failed attempt to create a gem called lich seed. This wizard or sorcerer was attempting to become a lich, but the spell backfired encasing the caster in the gem. I take some samples for the Grand Wizard. Once I return, we make our way back to town.

The Slave Pits: Enginn's Take

I wonder why the others do not seem to understand me well enough? No matter.

It was night when we arrived. The job in and of itself meant nothing to me it was just something that got me closer to It. Two goblins were in the tree and no one noticed. A fight broke out and the green-skins told me to lay my mother, they did not expect a response. After killing some goblins in the upper levels of the old pits, we found many pots filled with a delicious food. It tasted so wonderful and filling; I was completely shocked no one else wanted to eat some, I wish there was more. – A side note for later, I may go hunting to get some soon – We were forced down into the cave, dealing with those things as we delved deeper into the depths of the slave pits was quick and easy, it wasn’t until we came into contact with the green-skins’ warlord that we had trouble.

The battle was great, it was difficult, and it was long. The Paladin took great damage and went down before anyone else, and told us to “fly” from what I recall but the events are here. I do know the scaled one ran and the little one disappeared, not sure what happened to the horned one. No matter, I do remember going to blows with the warlord who thrashed me into unconsciousness.

I awoke shackled to a wall, the Paladin Mazgo by my side. I watched in a slight daze as he tried to break his chains in between each outburst from the goblins; I followed suit until the ancient links holding us to the wall shattered. We saw a door an rolled to it, our naked bodies covered in ancient grime. We knew not what was behind it, only that something required a glyph sealing it.

Mazgo broke the seal and thrust the doors open. In all my years I have not seen something so horrible. Down below, there was this thing. This Damned Thing. Its blackness consumed all light that touched it, and it was of such great dreadful being that it dragged the water in which it resided with it. Tentacles, those damned black tentacles…I had to run. Never have I ran like this before. It took some moments before I regained enough composure to lock the door. I ran. Oh how I ran…the Damned Thing climbing towards us on the other side. I ran, shouting as loud as I could “The Black Thing comes. The Damned Thing comes!” alerting anything that did not hear our racket to our presence. I didn’t care. I ran passed them. Mazgo ran passed them. I hope the Damned Thing remains behind those doors…it must…it must remain behind those doors…

On our way back to town we stopped, our wrists still shackled. I was able to convince the Paladin to link our bindings as best as we could to break them. Fortunately mine shattered allowing me to move my arms freely; Mazgo was another story as his bindings did not hardly bend and rubbed his flesh even more raw than it had been. We thus walked back to town, bloody, bruised, covered in grime and mud with fractured skulls atop that. I was not unfamiliar with such an injury, but damn does it still hurt. I do not understand why Mazgo was so uncomfortable with our state of dress, personally I found it quite nice and liberating, he on the other hand (albeit not through choice entirely) attempted to cover his “shame” as we drew closer to town.

As we set foot in town people stared at us, wondering from what fresh hell we came from don’t really know why. It was so comfortable! As we sought a place to heal a guard came up to me and said “Ei’der ew pot dis coat on, or ah’ll lock ew’p. Okay?” I ended up being forced to comply. People here are strange. They are very strange….

I have determined that once this abysmal headache ends, I will go hunting. When I go, I think I will take Mazgo or scaled Kwasi, they would like it, they can handle themselves. The little one will be pleased with this. It is a shame that Little Bitch has died. That reminds me…I need a new pelt as all my things were taken. Yeah…I’ll go hunting soon…

The Slave Pits
Mazgo Allendale's Account

We arrived in the black of night. The two little hobgoblins were nothing but pushovers. To us, more importantly to Akta Karzog, this job meant everything. I did not care so much about the money as her; she seemed to be loving the clink of a full coin purse. Either way, we entered without much of a fight. We continued downward, through the twisting spiral stairs and coming to a small narrow pathway. We squeezed through without much of a complaint, although I did feel my armor scrapping against the rocks. Just got that armor polished too. We pushed forward to see two hobgoblins guarding a wooden bridge.

Soliders are taught to be on their guard went entering new places. It is odd to me to be sneaking around so much, but caution is a priority. Thank Helm Akta led the party deeper into the catacombs. The hobgoblins went down with nothing but a quick shove down a catacomb, and a quicker arrow to the neck. We carefully crossed the bridge, and came across a larger room. The room, plain walled sure, was nothing but a room holding a table. Set, the table held only two hobgoblins while a third hung around. I could tell from Engin’s face that they seemed to arguing about their food or what have you. He smiled a bit and pointed at them. The glance we shared was something I had not seen in a man in a long time. The look of battle and blood. Of spilling it and reveling in it. Of ferocity and power. I smiled.

The battle was nothing short of breath-taking. We knew this would only lead to more trouble, but the thrill of the battle was just to much for me and Engin. Kawsi, the little half-elf child, (what was her name? Can’t quite remember. Only a child to me.), and Akta begrudgingly entered the fray. Making Akta annoyed brought me immense pleasure, and I could see her face from time to time as I smashed a couple of hobgoblin’s faces in.

We came across a door and pressed on and found a spiral stair case downwards, and a large stone door. I started walking across, moving to the stone door. Next thing I knew, I felt a huge fire on my back. I stood there, looking up at hobgoblin’s faces laughing at me through a shaft. Kawsi dosed the fire and I started making my ascent up there. I tied a rope around one of my javelins and stuck it perfectly up the shaft. Needless to say, one hobgoblin made a really hard fall downwards on Engin. Akta, on the other hand, touched the door, and I believe there was something magical about the door. I never got a chance to see, but I did see the hobgoblins coming down from their high perch. I walked over to the rest of the group who were smashing up some crates inside of the room.

I readied my warhammer, and a small platoon of hobgoblins rushed us. I knew one of us would not make it out alive. I turned to see my group in shock. Something was telling me to protect them. Helm. I could hear him right behind me. I stood my ground as Kawsi and the rest defended. I pushed through to create a distracting. I screamed at the party to run as I dodged an onslaught of spears and swords. It was too much, and I was overpowered. I could see Kawsi, out of the corner of my eye, making a dash towards the exit. The half-elf child was behind me, and I told her, “Go. Leave me. I have served my purpose.” I could barely make the room out. I saw Engin fall, and Akta running, and the half-elf child floating up the shaft. I prayed to Helm, but he did not hear me. I fell into blackness.

I woke chained with Engin by my side. I assumed the others had escaped. Me and Engin snapped the rusty chains and found a small door to our left. The hobgoblins were too busy with their spoils to really care about us two. The door bore strange glyphs and was barred on the outside. We opened the door, thinking it would be a way out. It led downward to a large chasm. I could sense the evil within this room. Engin did not feel what I felt. We heard something below, something blubbling. The gentle bubbling turned into gurgling like a man who was about to spit out some water. It sounded of hell, and death. I wondered if we could use this thing to plan our escape. The plan changed when we walked closer to it. The water, black as night, trashed and turned and curled around the bottom. Slowly rising, the water danced around the rocks. I could not see much, but I turned to see Engin running. I followed suit. He barred the door and we climbed out of the caves with the hobgoblins being none the wiser.

It had not occured to me at the time of our escape, but we were both completely naked. Fitting.



I awoke in my stasis chamber, as my makers had intended. If I have been activated, then clearly the worst has come to pass and my makers have need of my services to protect the people in this time of war. As I exited my chamber, though, I observed an odd change to my surroundings. Where the Warforged barracks had made were once in clean condition have now been overgrown with plant life. I begin to go through my diagnostics and my memory, I notice a few problems. For one, it appears my functions have been impeded due to lack of maintenance. While my shield and sword functions are still functioning, it appears that my arcane arsenal compendium and transformations have been left in disarray. I can still access my chromatic cannon, flame launcher, magic missile railgun, and electric hand suppressors, but other functions are inaccessible. I launch a recovery protocol for my arcane compendium. It is successful. I run it in the background. I should be able to access more of my capabilities as time goes on, though it will be a slow process.
The next error I notice is my memory seems to be corrupt. I am only able to access and retain my model name, serial number, and general purpose. I am Guardian model, designation number 2814. My purpose is to protect the townspeople in times of war and act as a protector when people of the town venture forth. I also remember the name of my makers, the Mer’Dwey. Other than that, all other memory is corrupted. I launch another recovery program. Fail. I try again. Fail. It appears that the memory is corrupted beyond recovery. That is unfortunate. Any attempt to learn more about my kind or my makers will have to be done without the use of my backlog. I run a quick scan for any signs of life. There isn’t any. Scanner short circuits. It is irreparable. That is unfortunate. The closest largest signs of life are to the south of my location, in the town of Wyvyndsrilde. Probability is high that I can gather information there.
I make the long trek south towards Wyvyndsrilde. As I head towards the town, I noticed a lot of places inhabited by humans. Likewise they seem to be extremely interested in me. They stand in awe as I walk through the gates. Odd, it is almost as if they had never seen one of my kind before. I walk to what would be the garrison. I knock and enter. The guard behind the desk looks in shock and awe. I greet him, but it appears that none speak the language of my makers. I switch to the tongue they call ‘Common’. I tell him that I have come to help in response to my activation and to aid the town in the war. However, the guard tells me that the war ended. I further inquire and find out that I was activated late. I am over 2000 years late. My makers are gone. The guard tells me the town now goes by the name of Northreach. He calls for the Grand Wizard. He walks through a Dimension Door. He tells me that they the descendants of my makers. I cannot confirm or disprove this, so I adjust my protocol to protect these people. He takes me to a training facility where I show him my current capabilities. He then asks me to help him discover the answer the behind the disappearance of my makers. While I can respect his intrigue with my makers and I too am curious as to how my makers disappeared, it is clear that my main purpose right now is for the people. I tell him this, though he seems too excited to hear me. He then tells me that the town and its people must finalize my duty by a vote. He explains how the people of Northreach are a democracy. This is pleasing to hear, because he explains how everyone has a voice. We arrive at the town square through another Dimension Door.
The whole town is present, though it seems that some people are shoved to the back, while people in more decorative attire are in front. This confuses me, and I call and invite those who are shoved to the back to the front. The people at the front are unsettled by this. I asked the Grand Wizard why this was and he explained that the people up front were ‘nobility’. This concept is that they were born into some sort of aristocratic class that they believe is higher than the other people of this town. I point out that this is rather illogical. One cannot have a system of government where people are above others. Everyone should have a voice. The Grand Wizard then says that they are all citizens, and only non-citizens are not allow a say in political matters. This too was illogical to me. I explain that if one lives in the city, that they are a citizen. A woman laughs out and claps loudly as I bring forth my concerns. The people begin to talk amongst themselves about my debate. I only mean to understand. My purpose is to protect those in the city. Should that not extend to all? The Grand Wizard wishes to discuss this at a later date, as they wish to begin the vote. The wizard asks if there should be any purpose for me other than to solve the mystery of my makers. I interrupt and tell him of my true purpose, to protect the city and its people. It appears that he did not hear me originally. How irksome. So the people vote whether I solve the disappearance of my makers or protect the city and its people. It is a split vote. The same woman who laughed at my arguments earlier cries out that I should be allowed to decide for myself my own fate. I like this person. The crowd agrees. I see the Grand Wizard look a bit disappointed. Therefore, I make the logical compromise. I shall help those who shall venture into the Wilds and search for clues for the disappearance of my makers, and while I am not busy with that I will protect and serve the people who live in this town. The crowd applauds my decision.
After the ceremony. A number of individuals approach me one after another. The first is the short woman who convinced the people to let me chose my own fate. The woman tells me that she agrees with my views on citizenship and nobility. She hands me a pamphlet and asks me to meet her and her compatriots at a tavern called Jen’s. I thank her and make a mental note of it. Next, a man in armor greets me and asks if I would help out from time to time with the town guard. This greatly excites me, as it gives me a chance to perform my function. I tell him that I would be honored and to send for me whenever I am needed. After, a woman in her middle age approaches me and asks me a series of questions that I do not know the answer to. She then asks if I go to church. I told her that I do not know that that is. She explains that she is a part of a religious group and shows me a symbol of a spark. It looks similar to my production symbol- a flaming anvil. She said that her group believes my makers ascended to a higher plane of existence. I tell her I cannot confirm or deny this, seeing as I cannot remember much of my makers. She invites me to their religious services. I make a mental note, as this might be a clue as to what my symbol means. Finally, a well-dressed man approaches me, looks me over in curiosity. I ask him I could help him with anything. He just continues to examine me and then walks off.
Since my duties for the day had concluded, I looked for the largest gathering of people. I find my way to a large boisterous building called the Rusted C_p. I approach the door and have a pleasant conversation withthe man out front. I walk in an approach the man behind the counter and strike up a conversation. He is intrigued by me, and asks if I would like a drink and some food. I do not know if I am capable of such things, but I am eager to try. I give him a coin. However, it appears that my currency, Electrum, is now a rarity. The common currency is now Silver. So much has changed. He mentions that I could take my currency to a collector and get a good rate for it. I make a mental note of it. The man behind the counter and I begin our experiment. I drink the fluid and eat the food that is provided, but experience none of the effects. It appears that I do not need these to sustain myself, although it looks like it does not hurt me either. He the offers me a bed for the night. I choose however to spend the time speaking with the people in the establishment. I wish to know the people I am to protect. I think my time here in Northreach will be well spent.


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